In many respects, women have changed. We've learned to drive cars and manage large enterprises. We've taken responsibility to make decisions at home and at work. Some women find happiness in families, while others need career success. Regardless of our differences, we still have one common gift - to give new life.
On the eve of March 8 ForUm went to talk to Victoria Belaya, two times mother and chief doctor of the Perinatal center of Kyiv.
- Your profession is unique. You are the first person who sees new life - newborns. What do you feel in that moment?
- Our profession indeed is noble. The moment you take in arms a newborn, who is making his first breath, you receive a powerful energy charge. It is a wild felling of joy and admiration.
- Do you remember your first patient and her baby?
- You know, I do not. They were so many for all these years. However, I remember the feeling. I was so afraid at first, but when I saw that child and realized that I did it, the feeling was unforgettable.
- Do you think that women's purpose and role in this world is only motherhood or there should be a room for work and other affairs?
- Women's attitude towards family has changed. My daughter, for example, devotes all her time to study. She already knows what she wants to be and thinks only about career. And she is only 14 years old. I believe that we should talk to our girls about motherhood, family, house and children when they are still at school to teach them the importance of these things. Modern women do not devote much time to their dearest. May be that is why families fall apart.
On the other hand, the life has changed, and work plays an important part in it. Work takes 90% of my life, for example. From early morning till late night, I am at work, and I do not suffer. I am happy I have this work, and I would never exchange it for a life of a housewife. What is more important, my family supports me. My husband and children know what happens at my work. They know all my colleagues and even their children. Such attitude helps a lot.
- What are the factors bringing a woman to success?
- Family support, of course. And genes, I believe. In my case, for example, it was my parents. They used to be successful people in their days and always taught me to be the best - the most beautiful, the most intelligent, etc. This genetic factor plays an important role as well.
- Do you share experience with younger specialists?
- Of course. We have many young specialists, and we love them and take care of them. Our young doctors are very promising and smart, smarter than we are sometimes. They know to manage technologies, computers. We even learn something from them.
- Do you have amusing situations happening at work? Can you tell some?
- You know, these amusing situations happen every minute (smiling). Now many women come with husbands, and amusing incidents happen more with men, than with women. For example, in case of caesarean section we first put the newborn on mother's breast and then give to the father. Thus, many fathers get prepared and come with shaved chests (laughing).
- Do you support the initiative of men to present at delivery? May be mothers or close female friends are more appropriate?
- Presence of the husband brings psychological conform. He helps, takes care, kisses her, gives water, cuts the navel cord. I support men's initiative to participate in the baby delivery process. It is important for women. But in general, women can come with anyone they feel comfortable with.
- Do men should train for partner delivery?
- We have a training school for parents, and it is better to take the classes to know what to expect and how to behave. Last year we trained 2090 couples.
- What is the best age for women to have children?
- I'll tell you what. Children should be born in love. If a woman is healthy and delivers a baby in love and harmony with a loving man, the age does not matter. It can be at 18 or 40 years old. The important thing is that these children will be happy.
- Do modern mothers differ from women of ten years ago?
- Yes, there are new methods or education and care. Modern mothers carefully prepare to the delivery. But in any case, mother love remains unchanged. Mom is always a mom, in any age and at any time.
- What do you think about modern trends like delivery at home or in water?
- I am totally against delivery at home. When there is no specialist to watch there can be complications, bleeding or something else.
As for delivery in water, well, I do not understand it. We are humans, not fishes, and we do not have gills. In my opinion, it is dangerous and unnatural.
-What do you thing about childfree families?
- It is pure egoism. People do not want children because they have no desire to take on the burden of parenthood.
- Sometimes you have complicated cases of delivery. How do you abstract away from sad situations?
- It is impossible. Every case we take personally. In our profession we cannot do otherwise, and it is very exhausting emotionally. Our work leaves its marks, and our families often have to share the burden.
- Can one learn to be a doctor, or it is a vocation?
- It is a vocation. One can graduate a medical university, but will never become a doctor if he does not love people enough to help them.
- Coming here we've noticed that the major part of doctors and nurses is women. How is it to work in a female team? You know what they say about such groups - a hornets' nest, ophidiarium...
- I can assure you we have a great team. Moreover, we do not have time for gossips, as we are always busy. Besides, they also say that the biggest gossipers are men (smiling). We do have men in the team, they are few and we take great care of them.
- What would you wish our female readers on March 8?
- I wish the love - love of a man, children, great children. Everything in our life depends on love. I you give love, you will receive love in return.
ForUm also congratulates all women with the holiday. Let your hearts be filled with spring mood and your souls with harmony. We wish you to be coddled with flowers, cheered with smiles and have happiness in the house.
Tetyana Matsur, photos by Viktor Kovalchuk
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